Oh, I love this tribute to your dad, Claire. What a touching way to remember him.
Yes, the tin of Swarfega would be on the list for my dad, too. Brylcreem. Old Spice aftershave. Betnovate anti-fungal cream. I never asked where he put it!
In late life, Zoflora disinfectant for his catheter. And his hearing aid.
Earlier? Bicycle clips for his trousers - he cycled to the pit every day. His flat cap.
Claire this is utterly beautiful writing. You’re amazing. I’ve never wanted to have written something more than ‘I was pissing in the wetsuit of my own grief’. YES. That is it. I lost my mum in 2021 as Covid lockdown was nearly ended. My grief got swallowed up by a whole nation’s grief. I’ve never really figured out the how/what of it. But your words have meant a lot to me. Much love. X
I love your posts, informative and pleasingly direct about an often annoyingly vague subject.
This post, I like too because I’m now a member of the club twice over. Lost my Mum after a shockingly short illness and then my Dad 18 months later after a terrible 4months in hospital.
I think about them a lot and take real comfort from recalling the things they loved, particularly food and drink. Your piece really struck a chord for me in so many ways so thank you xx
I love your writing and I love this piece. Your dad sounds fabulous. Mine died about a year before yours and I think they would have enjoyed each other’s company. Clippers and Calippos all round.
This was beautiful, not in a bombastic, showy way, but in the small, everyday ways that we know and love someone (particularly Dads I think). I’m so sorry you went through that, I’m dreading joining this club one day. I relate to the postponing of grief, both my grandmothers died during Covid. I had moved to the US in January 2020 had a baby there in 2021. I couldn’t leave the country & renter again and so I missed both of their funerals. There’s a large part of my brain that tells myself they’re still alive & exactly as I left them in 2019 and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get around to accepting otherwise. I wish they’d met my kids. Oh well. Sending love to you & your Dad x
This is the most beautiful and accurate and above all moving piece, I too am a member of that club twice over, my dad dying when I was pregnant with baby 2, my mum suddenly and unexpectedly on Nov 1, the day of the dead. So many bruises in common. Bravo x
This was lovely, so beautifully understated but piercingly accurate. I found an empty bottle of my mum’s perfume after she died and the smell knocked me for six. I kept the bottle and sniff it when I want to feel close to her.
I'm constantly floored by the fact there are so many, hundreds of thousands and millions of people going through traumatic grief all the time and the world just somehow keeps going. I'm fine for a few weeks or months, and then BAM. Out of nowhere something viscerally reminds me of Mum and I feel like I just lost her all over again. I wash all my clothes with Comfort Baby Soft (the white one) because that smells like Mum. Nivea Soft. Red-Brown Lipstick (any brand, but usually something by L'Oréal) Yves Saint Laurent 'Paris' or Calvin Klein 'Eternal'. Eurovision. Lasagna (with homemade pasta). Stilettos. Navy blue. Abba. Dusty Springfield. Kirsty MacColl. Little silk scarves.
I'm so sorry for your loss Claire. Your Dad was a great man. X
And I loved Caroline! Will forever remember buying her outfit for your wedding from Debenhams Oxford street and then getting pissed all together at Carluccio’s. Bloody dead parents, what are they like? X
Oof. Great writing. I felt it all. Plus, I read this wearing Lash Power, knew exactly what view you were talking about at the Royal Free, and have a mum currently bed bound with dementia. I often wonder if that disease just numbs us a bit in the end, because the grief happens early and often throughout its course. Thanks for articulating it so well.
The is quite simply and simply quite beautiful. Raw and affecting in that it made my eyes well up and my throat feel tight way and I had to blink a few times and click my tongue to reset myself. I would have sobbed snottily and messily writing such a memoir. I am not ready to press the bruise yet after my much loved grandmother died in 2021. I know right? I have scaffolded and barricaded myself with distractions and disassociations but your writing today made me slide my little finger towards that bruise and tentatively test it. I'm not ready, but needed the prompt. Thank you.
On another note please can you do a mascara update. There are so bloody many and I have A LOT but I haven't found THE ONE because I am so disappointed in them despite it being a never be without 3 item in my makeup bag. Perhaps it is just another quest I won't achieve.
Oh, I love this tribute to your dad, Claire. What a touching way to remember him.
Yes, the tin of Swarfega would be on the list for my dad, too. Brylcreem. Old Spice aftershave. Betnovate anti-fungal cream. I never asked where he put it!
In late life, Zoflora disinfectant for his catheter. And his hearing aid.
Earlier? Bicycle clips for his trousers - he cycled to the pit every day. His flat cap.
Claire this is utterly beautiful writing. You’re amazing. I’ve never wanted to have written something more than ‘I was pissing in the wetsuit of my own grief’. YES. That is it. I lost my mum in 2021 as Covid lockdown was nearly ended. My grief got swallowed up by a whole nation’s grief. I’ve never really figured out the how/what of it. But your words have meant a lot to me. Much love. X
I love your posts, informative and pleasingly direct about an often annoyingly vague subject.
This post, I like too because I’m now a member of the club twice over. Lost my Mum after a shockingly short illness and then my Dad 18 months later after a terrible 4months in hospital.
I think about them a lot and take real comfort from recalling the things they loved, particularly food and drink. Your piece really struck a chord for me in so many ways so thank you xx
I love your writing and I love this piece. Your dad sounds fabulous. Mine died about a year before yours and I think they would have enjoyed each other’s company. Clippers and Calippos all round.
This was beautiful, not in a bombastic, showy way, but in the small, everyday ways that we know and love someone (particularly Dads I think). I’m so sorry you went through that, I’m dreading joining this club one day. I relate to the postponing of grief, both my grandmothers died during Covid. I had moved to the US in January 2020 had a baby there in 2021. I couldn’t leave the country & renter again and so I missed both of their funerals. There’s a large part of my brain that tells myself they’re still alive & exactly as I left them in 2019 and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get around to accepting otherwise. I wish they’d met my kids. Oh well. Sending love to you & your Dad x
Oh I loved this Claire. The fact that you (and Becks) have other jobs besides writing blows my mind, you’re always just class, whatever the subject x
This is the most beautiful and accurate and above all moving piece, I too am a member of that club twice over, my dad dying when I was pregnant with baby 2, my mum suddenly and unexpectedly on Nov 1, the day of the dead. So many bruises in common. Bravo x
I feel very moved by the piece. Sending you all my love Claire xxxx
This was lovely, so beautifully understated but piercingly accurate. I found an empty bottle of my mum’s perfume after she died and the smell knocked me for six. I kept the bottle and sniff it when I want to feel close to her.
I'm constantly floored by the fact there are so many, hundreds of thousands and millions of people going through traumatic grief all the time and the world just somehow keeps going. I'm fine for a few weeks or months, and then BAM. Out of nowhere something viscerally reminds me of Mum and I feel like I just lost her all over again. I wash all my clothes with Comfort Baby Soft (the white one) because that smells like Mum. Nivea Soft. Red-Brown Lipstick (any brand, but usually something by L'Oréal) Yves Saint Laurent 'Paris' or Calvin Klein 'Eternal'. Eurovision. Lasagna (with homemade pasta). Stilettos. Navy blue. Abba. Dusty Springfield. Kirsty MacColl. Little silk scarves.
I'm so sorry for your loss Claire. Your Dad was a great man. X
And I loved Caroline! Will forever remember buying her outfit for your wedding from Debenhams Oxford street and then getting pissed all together at Carluccio’s. Bloody dead parents, what are they like? X
What a gorgeous tribute. Sending love.
Oof. Great writing. I felt it all. Plus, I read this wearing Lash Power, knew exactly what view you were talking about at the Royal Free, and have a mum currently bed bound with dementia. I often wonder if that disease just numbs us a bit in the end, because the grief happens early and often throughout its course. Thanks for articulating it so well.
This is such gorgeous and generous writing Claire. Your dad sounds wonderful xx
Job done. You owe me a pack of tissues.
Lovely
The is quite simply and simply quite beautiful. Raw and affecting in that it made my eyes well up and my throat feel tight way and I had to blink a few times and click my tongue to reset myself. I would have sobbed snottily and messily writing such a memoir. I am not ready to press the bruise yet after my much loved grandmother died in 2021. I know right? I have scaffolded and barricaded myself with distractions and disassociations but your writing today made me slide my little finger towards that bruise and tentatively test it. I'm not ready, but needed the prompt. Thank you.
On another note please can you do a mascara update. There are so bloody many and I have A LOT but I haven't found THE ONE because I am so disappointed in them despite it being a never be without 3 item in my makeup bag. Perhaps it is just another quest I won't achieve.
Beautiful article Claire, I'm getting to Muji pronto <3 xxxx