Welcome to The Trowel: your no nonsense, no-vagina-candles, non wholesome dive into the beauty industry, love and relationships, and beautiful, godawful healing.
We are the antiGoop.
‘She’d had to start camping out at my house, hiding from the Strictly Come Dancing media shitstorm.’
HISTORY
REBECCA: I’m Rebecca Humphries, the one on the left in the picture. I’ve written for the Guardian, Vogue, Elle, the Telegraph and the Independent among others, and my Sunday Times bestselling memoir ‘Why Did You Stay?’ about how to leave an emotionally abusive relationship better for it having happened became a runaway hit. Emma Thompson loved it.
But The Trowel goes back further than that.
CLAIRE: In 2018, me and Becks started sending bits of writing to each other. She was working at Vogue House at the time, and was frankly horrified at the half-arsed way beauty reviews were approached.
REBECCA: Products were barely even tested, the writing itself was earnest gibberish and there was bribery too; highest platitudes were always dished out to whichever brand gifted the most. The two of us would exchange emails that contained our ‘real reviews’; frank, informative and often hilarious (especially from Claire) round ups of our favourite products and brutal takedowns of ones we’d been burned by.
Soon after, everything in my life went haywire.
CLAIRE: What started as two bored women in an office sending jokey emails back and forth evolved into a means of cheering ourselves up (particularly Becks if we’re honest). She’d had to start camping out at my house, hiding from the Strictly Come Dancing media shitstorm. I have a surreal picture on my phone of the newsstand from around that time, with every single front page plastered with it. Even the Guardian! She couldn’t go to work. At one point someone even followed us home from the pub near our house in the suburbs. I remember that we were carrying so much wine in bags that we couldn’t so much run away as power walk away. We really needed the wine.
REBECCA: It was around that time The Trowel got made into a website, and it soon gained a cult following.
SO WHY THE SUBSTACK?
REBECCA: Since I worked at Vogue House in 2018, not much has changed in the beauty industry - sponsored content, #gifting and ads mean that most reviewers or influencers have already agreed to endorse a product before it lands on their doorstep, or say an experience is life changing before they’ve even showed up.
But not The Trowel. *sly face*.
“The Trowel cannot be bribed. We pay for everything.”
CLAIRE: Back when we started, The Trowel had one rule that set us apart: no freebies. We wanted to be entirely honest (and frankly, as crass as possible) about whatever we were writing about. with no freebies, no ads and no sponsored content, there was also no money in The Trowel. And it took up a look of time - not just the writing but fiddling with the website and trying to make a fucking slide carousel or video link on it work. I was working full time with a newborn baby. Becks was on a book deadline as well as in a tv series and a play and all sorts. The Trowel wasn’t making money and was taking up a lot of our time, so had to be the first thing to go.
Here’s where Substack comes in.
REBECCA: With the Substack subscriber format, we can afford to pay for every product we buy and every experience we undertake. As such, we are not obligated to be nice if we find them crap/overpriced/a load of wank woowoo nonsense. I’ve experienced breathwork in the Joshua Tree desert that was life changing, sure, but I’ve also lain down in a Balinese pyramid for a gong bath and thought it was naff. Both have lessons to impart.
No sponsored content, no advertising. We aren’t peddling wares either. We’re impartial; not here to sell a retreat we’re running, or our own brand of rose quartz infused retinol, or contribute in any way to the Starbucksification of spirituality.
The Trowel cannot be bribed. We are honest with our reviews and recommendations, and pay for products and services with the money we make from paid subscriptions.
WHY SUBSCRIBE?
Every week we’ll release a weekly newsletter. It might include :
recommendations; a moisturiser, a place to get tarot, a ritual for the new moon….
a deep dive into an experience; a spa break in the UK, a crystal healing session, what a high end sex party in London is really like….
a feature on something more personal; When to step in re a friend’s toxic relationship, Green flags to look out for when dating, How the tv show MAFS can help us love better…..
or a breakdown of an intimidating concept; What is ancestral trauma? When is someone a narcissist, and when are they just a dickhead? What the fuck is salicylic acid?
It will be frank, funny, and - when it comes to the healing part - not at all twatty, we swear.
WHAT WILL I GET IF I PAY?
In addition to all of the above, paid subscribers will:
Gain access to additional articles,
Be able to pose questions for our agony aunt feature, and hear our recorded answers,
Gain access to our video check ins, plus Q&As with special guests,
Be part of The Trowel ‘Who Wants It?’ - an opportunity to win products, paid for by us!
Have the ability to post and become a more active part of this amazing community we’re building.
Paying for subscription also helps keep The Trowel alive. It ensures we never have to accept a gifted beauty product or service, and can continue to review as honest consumers.
Thanks for reading. You look gorgeous, by the way.
