Why Sophie Turner's kids will thank her

Not all heroes wear capes, but some do shots

by Rebecca

Hey, did you hear Sansa Stark is a shit mum?

She’s getting a divorce from Joe Jonas. You know, Joe Jonas, that guy who looks like he would do table magic tricks at your cousin’s wedding. For years he & his brothers served as demiGods to countless tweens and adult virgins, but now he can claim an even better title: Best Dad in the Damn World.

Poor victim of circumstance Joe Jonas didn’t want a divorce you see. Sources close to the couple (!) insist he tried everything to ensure it wouldn’t come to this. Since the couple’s shared announcement on their respective social media accounts he’s been photographed in LA doing some excellent daddy-ing with their daughters, aged 3 and 1. Excellent daddy-ing which looks a lot like ‘taking your kids to breakfast’ and ‘looking after them so their mum can go out with her friends’.

Wow.

Sophie, meanwhile, was pictured at a wrap party for her new show Joan drinking shots. Not a regular mom, but a cool mom. This lead to certain publications implying she has joined the ranks of women including Meryl Streep in Kramer vs Kramer and Sally Field in Mrs Doubtfire. Whichistosay she’s no longer just a woman, but a symbol of how mothers who file for divorce are selfish homewreckers who don’t love their kids as much as their dads do. And, in Sophie’s case, who love being out on the lash most of all.

As my mate Helen Thorn, author of Sunday Times Bestseller of ‘Get Divorced, Be Happy’ put it: ugh, what a whore!

As someone whose breakup was also front page news, I can assure you when the press has their gaze fixed on you, you don’t go out in public unless you’re desperate for a taste of freedom

Sophie Turner was 14 years old when she began shooting Game of Thrones. Despite pretty much everyone else in the show getting the literal chop over the years, she was still shooting it when she married Joe Jonas in 2019. The following year they had their first child and her next job of ‘someone’s mum’ began. And now, 3 years after that, 27 year old Sophie Turner did some shots in a bar. I can’t be the only person who thinks it’s no fucking wonder. Or who took one look at that recent picture of her having the time of her life with her mates at that wrap party and thought divorce looks great, and some day I might like one.

Sophie Turner with mates in Birmingham

I also see something else. As someone who has been involved in a front page breakup scandal I can tell you that when the press has their gazed narrowed on you, you don’t go out in public unless you are desperate for a taste of freedom, or unless you desperately want to be seen.

The tabloids would have you believe in Sophie’s case it’s the latter. I mean, why would anyone have a drink after a huge break up if it’s not gonna be on the news? Give me a break. That young woman has been owned by HBO since puberty, and the second her contract ended has been someone else’s wife. She’s allowed to step away from something if she feels trapped. She’s allowed to end her first proper relationship, the way 99% of us have. And she’s definitely allowed a few WKDs and a spin around to Proud Mary with people that think she’s fantastic and not just the person who gets the kids out of the bath and ready for bed.

Helen Thorn, who is also one half of comedy duo sensation The Scummy Mummies, takes a similar view.

‘Divorce is messy and it is a rite of passage to have a blow out with your mates. Almost compulsory, I would say.

Sophie is being subjected to this tired patriarchal view of women being either the Madonna or the Whore. You are praised as a woman for retreating, or not responding or reacting to one of life's most disrupting and confronting things. Right now, she’s doing everything she should be doing as a woman who is on the cusp of starting a new life.’

During a breakup, it’s ok to see the opportunity for pleasure and to take it. Even if - wait for it - you’re a mum. The patriarchy will have us all believe motherhood is the point in a woman’s life where you trade in your personal agency, career and personality in order to always do ‘what’s best for the kids’ and not for yourself.

What we don’t hear about enough is this indusputable truth:

what’s best for yourself is what’s best for your kids.