The Trowel goes shopping

and receives an incredible gift

by Claire

In a few weeks, I’m moving to the other side of the country. I’m a born and bred Londoner, but I have had to accept that if I want to live anywhere nicer than a two bed flat near an abattoir in zone 100, I have to move away. We’re heading to St Anne’s on the Sea, just South of Blackpool, sometimes paired with Lytham (making it Lytham St Anne’s). If Lytham were a person(s) it would Dom and Steph, the posh couple that used to be on Gogglebox, St Anne’s would be the Siddiquis and Blackpool would be Jenny and Lee (I know they are all not from those places, but this is a good way to describe things - if you watch Gogglebox, that is). We’ve bought a house, the sort of house I could never, ever have afforded in my home town. It’s near family, the beach and also Katie Clapham, who I met on Substack via her excellent Receipt from the Bookshop - now an IRL friend!

Dom and Steph

I’m currently working my notice period at my day job, which I’ve had for 8 years. I work as an administrator at a big public art gallery, and for the first time since starting, I don’t have a lot to do. It’s one of life’s periods of enforced waiting, like having a new born baby or a being on bed rest. I know myself better than to believe I will somehow use the time constructively: I will absolutely piss it away window shopping on the internet. So why should you, dear reader, not benefit? Here is the best stuff I have found, mostly for my new house, but some for my face. And a thrilling present I received at the very end.

Collagerie x John Lewis Jug

When exactly I started giving a fuck about jugs I cannot tell you, but I very much do. I’m sure you already know about it, but Collagerie is an excellent place to start if you are shopping around for something and want to see what a very stylish person might suggest, be it clothes or interiors or whatever. This jug is from their collaboration with John Lewis and is such an excellent shape: classic but unusual. It makes me think of a big sexy white Calla lily, and it’s a versatile size: good for flowers, or gravy, or Lucozade original. I’m thrilled to say it is currently half price, as is a lot of the range.

Rugvista

I’ve read a lot of interiors spiel over the last year, and one thing all the experts seem to agree on is how important rugs are: they give a space warmth, work as a zoning tool and help anchor furniture and pull everything together. Yes fine, I say, how much? EASILY £2000 quid is the answer, and at least £300 for a nice wool one. This will not pass. As well as obviously not having £2000, I have two small children with no impulse control or respect for my belongings. Enter Rugvista: attractive, washable rugs at OK prices. This is the one I want for under my kitchen table in order to aaaaaaanchor….

John Lewis Reed Sienna chairs

…these John Lewis chairs, which have arrived and are sturdy, comfy and a good colour: interesting but also muted so they will go with lots of different tablecloths. I mean, I wouldn’t want to flatter myself too much, but I could definitely see them on Collagerie. They make me think of Vincent Van Gogh’s chair in Arles, but without the depression and Paul Gaugin ruining my life.

These Anthropologie bowls

Our most used crockery by far are these Sainsburys pasta bowls as we eat a lot of soft, spoonable food for dinner, like in a posh care home. I’ve looked at so much crockery that crockery has lost all meaning, but I do keep thinking to myself that these are really nice, and not a completely insane price, which is usually the problem with Anthro. Incidentally, my theory is that Anthropolgie is just Urban Outfitters for Millennials. If you thought Urban Outfitters was for Millennials then do please walk in to one and instantly feel a wave of oldness and shitness break over you.

Superdrug brows and lashes

Did you know Superdrug does eyebrows and lashes? During an extended lunch break, I was talked into getting my brows threaded and dyed, and my lashes tinted. I mean, I appreciate that this impulsive act could have gone badly wrong, but actually it was great. It took 20 minutes and has made a big different to my face, which feels a bit lifted and certainly more groomed. I was grateful to be able to skip brow pencil and mascara during our recent putrid heatwave. Anyway, it was £32, quick and pretty painless, and I would recommend it! I went to the big one on the Strand, but apparently most bigger branches do it.

Amazon cast iron pans via Ebay

Oh, Ebay. Poor, poor Ebay. She was once the belle of the ball but now lurks in the shadows, watching hungrily as Vinted completely takes over the second-hand clothes market. Ebay has now become much more corporate ‘fell off the back of a truck’ than it used to be, which would have been unimaginable a few years ago, when it felt like a big jolly online car boot sale. I have used this to my advantage in purchasing this very handsome cast iron pot, which was originally on Amazon and no longer available? I realise this might seem boring, but I love to cook with cast iron and Le Creuset is now too expensive. I got this one in ‘Cranberry’, a great purpley oxblood colour. More stews incoming to slop into my pasta bowls.

A very pleasing cheese slice

Phillippe Starck designed his own motorbike because he couldn’t find one for himself that wasn’t ‘designed to look like a weapon’. The same is true of cheese slicers, would you believe? Everything I looked at was black and stainless steel, with a bit of a torture quality to it. But this one is friendly, but also perversely sort of looks like it’s made of cheese? Idk anymore.

Jones Road Shower perfume

I do like Jones Road, even if I don’t think I get it. Like, I enjoy the miracle balm but I don’t really get it. Same for the WTF foundation. The only thing I really know for sure is how expensive all that Jones Road Californian effortlessness is. You can imagine my pleasant surprise to find that the Jones Road fragrance ‘Shower’ is….wait for it…..£45. You couldn’t even get a bottle of Davidoff Coolwater at the airport for £45 these days! It smells fresh and melon-ey, and makes me think of CK One a bit. OI LOIK IT.

Glossier Sail Cloud Paint Bronzer

Katie, who I mentioned earlier, recommended this to me when I was complaining to her about all bronzer looking yellow on my pale skin. Honestly, designer or high street, every bronzer makes me the colour of raw cornfed chicken.

Guys, she is absolutely right: the Glossier Sail is NOT orange and is also £5.99 at TK Maxx.

My slug lipstick

Speaking of excellent people I’ve met through Subby (what do we think of ‘Subby’?), Rebecca Armstrong gave me one of the best presents of my life last week. Rebecca writes Artnest on here, makes wonderful macabre little sculptures, is very funny and a good writer and a GOOD EGG*. We met at the fabled Substack Summer Party and went to the japan Centre for lunch a few weeks later for an IRL date. She presented me with this, which I’ve tried to explain but this video says it better than I ever could.

*My Columbian colleague told me that Good Egg in Columbia is a ‘Buena Papa - i.e. a ‘good potato’. SO good.