Review: Tan Luxe x Paris Hilton

Or 'How Paris Hilton ruined my wall'

by Rebecca

There is something so trashily camp about celebrity brand partnerships, and it lights me up. Whether it’s Joan Crawford signing her life and firstborn over to Pepsi Cola, Anthea Turner’s Flake on the wedding day or more recently Christina Aguilera whistle toning through the Just Eat jingle, something about them makes me clappy-hands gleeful. 

In the beauty world, there is a big difference between a celebrity line and a partnership. Who knows how much actual input and insight Rihanna has in Fenty, Victoria Beckham in VB, or Selena Gomez in Rare Cosmetics. But I bet it’s more than say, Paris Hilton, who by the looks of it was expected to turn up for a Planet Paris launch party in LA (where the dress code was simply ‘pink’) and do a few TikToks questioning whether she could tan her own baby. She is not serving CEO, she’s serving special guest star, there for a good time not a long time. She is a woman after my own heart.

I will probably always see Paris Hilton as the unspeakably gorgeous and popular girl a few years above me at school who I would kill to be. But I also like her a huge amount, and wish her nothing but the best. This is for many reasons, not least because in her memoir Piece of Me Britney Spears credits Paris, who wasn’t previously a friend of hers, for showing up post Justin Timberlake break up and subsequent press decimation, taking Britney out and having some fun heiress style.

‘Sunburn is very becoming - but only when it is even - one must be careful not to look like a mixed grill’.

So I’m keen to support Paris’ entrepreneurialism. Not least because it’s recently come to my attention that without a tan, I pretty much look see through. I know this is true because I can see myself on the actual television. While filming earlier this year I remember thinking my scene partner had a very pale complexion. It was only when I watched it back a fortnight ago I discovered I was, in fact, far paler. 

All this led to Monday, when I marched into my local Space NK and demanded Tan Luxe x Paris Hilton’s The Future. First impression? For something called The Future, it reminds me a lot of all other fake tans that exist in the present. Spray on, rub in etc. It omes in a cardboard tube like the whiskey you get your dad for Christmas, only pink, so much much gayer. It also comes with a free (pink) mitt which you’d expect for £39, but it’s not a given.

It makes some bold claims. A 360 airless self tan mist (?) that delivers a professional spray tan at home (that part’s already a lie). It also claims to lasts for up to ten days, which could be too long depending on how good you are at applying it.

Before I take you through my process, something to remember is that fake tan takes time. It’s a process, one that’s far longer than you think, do not rush it. You will regret it if you do, as it’s stuck to your actual skin.