by Claire
This past month, I went back to work full time after having my second baby. This has meant the return of the commute into central London, which is hideous no matter which way you cut it. I have to leave my house at 7.45, drop the baby off at nursery as soon as they open at 8.00 and be sitting at my desk by 9am. Even five minutes of pissing about makes everything fall apart and starts my day on an unpleasant and chaotic back foot.
I considered putting my face on en route, but I’m reluctant. When women put makeup on in a busy tube carriage, and I’m afraid to say it becomes a spectators sport. Also, it’s not very sisterly of me, but I become quite judgmental about weird techniques and grubby utensils, even though my own makeup brushes look like they belong in an evidence bag. I don’t want to rely on tube makeup personally, but if you do (and you’re guaranteed a seat) I think you’d be wise to put on your foundation and concealer at home then do eyes and lips on the journey. You must do your base in private, just as you have to put on pants and brush your teeth.
Anyway, since I am not up to applying eyeliner on the juddery bit between Regent’s Park and Oxford Circus, it has to happen at home. the order of things is important so that nothing gets sweaty or pilled, which will DELAY me. I generally do shower – serum – get dressed – sunscreen – hair – coffee - makeup – jewellery – perfume. It is a waste of time applying anything onto a hot wet face, take it from me.
Once I’m out of the shower I whack on either this Merit Great Skin instant glow serum or the Lixirskin Good Skin Shaker – both are bi phase serums with perkifying skincare and glowy pigments that you shake around before applying.
Once that dries down it’s sunscreen time. My sunscreen of choice is this L’Oreal one at the moment, which has been a tenner on the Boots £10 Tuesday deal several times (along with Oral B toothbrush heads and brightly coloured butt plugs) just FYI.
My base is the ever-forgiving Erborian BB cream or Lisa Eldridge skin tint, though I’m preferring the former as Autumn draws in, frankly. It has a little more coverage, but the LE tint is what I reach for on a good skin day.
I do an old MAC concealer with a fluffy brush under my eyes (the old studio fix one in a pan that I have just discovered is discontinued, so I won’t link it), then I set the whole thing with some ELF loose powder.
I quickly blob some Rare Beauty liquid blush and smoosh it in with my ancient disgusting stippling brush. If I am looking particularly WAN then I might do a bit of bronzer. The Chanel bronzing cream is the one I seem to fuck up the least, the texture is super forgiving, and the pot is HAYOOGE and makes me feel as rich and thin as Coco herself (but not as much of a Nazi sympathiser).
Now my base is done, I do eyebrows with this Jones Road chubby pencil. I am just darkening them, not trying to transform them - there’s no time for any sort of transformation here.
Now, eyeliner: I have the much lauded Victoria Beckham eye pencil in Cocoa, but have been struggling to use it. I always looked too harsh or sooty or sultry, which is not what I want. I want to look defined and awake. Then I saw this TikTok from a makeup artist called Katy Angelidi about tightlining, with this very good tip: you need to wiggle the pencil between your lashes, not on the waterline as such. It’s hard though because you are pulling your eyelid up and all the air gets in your eye and it’s a bit stingy and panicky. She shows how you need to sort of half close your eye then pull the eyelid sideways so that your poor old eyeball stays under the lid nice and moist and comfy. Here’s the link to that tik tok if I haven’t made you vomit with all the eyeball chat by now.
So I use a taupe shadow (MAC Coquette) then I tightline, then use the little smudger on the other end of the brush, and very nice it all looks indeed.
Then I curl lashes and put on mascara – I am using this Uoma beauty mascara which I got several advent calendars ago and it’s actually great! I’ve just learned that it was a limited edition, sold out product though, which only confirms my fear that the beauty advent calendar is a vehicle to reduce the enormous slush pile at the Liberty warehouse (like the dreaded Aromatherapy Associates rollerballs).
That’s all I do for makeup, the hourglass has literally run out by this point.
Now, hair: I have cut all my hair off recently, which is a story for another day. However, I do have to share with you the absolute revelation that is the JVN air dry cream.
This stuff let’s you shape your hair when it is towel dried, and sort of sets it in a very gentle way, whilst taking away fluffiness. I rub some through my damp hair, shape it about, then define it once it’s dry with a dab more. I think this would work on everyone except those with very long hair – but only because you would need more product than is economically feasible for a £27 a (large!) tube product. Pure magic, and I’m more than happy to line Jonathan Van Ness’s coffers.
Then that’s it, I put my son’s tiny little shoes on, pick a podcast and roll the pram out of the door. You CAN have it all!
What about you? Any time saving tricks? Or are you defensively team commuter makeup? Lettuce know in the comments.
I am one of Those Commuter Women. However, I get the train from the Shire so there are more places to hide seat wise. Although I *love* watching others do their make up. What are they using? How are they applying it?
I’d you’re thinking about joining me, then I suggest as non intrusive make up as possible.
Foundation - That’s right. Im putting on my metaphorical knickers in front of everyone. Slutty. I use a stick. Fenty or Tom Ford. It’s less mess and much easier to apply than a liquid.
Powder/Blusher/Bronzer/Highlighter - One word. Palettes. I have the Hourglass leopard palette which has their setting powder, a bronzer, a highlighter and 3 blushes so I have a colour for whatever takes my fancy. Excellent quality. Streamlined. Expensive AF and limited edition. I got mine in the Space NK Black Friday sale. I went in store, picked it up and it wasn’t included. The manager pulled me aside and whispered, “Wait 2 days and it’ll be 20% off like the rest of the store”. They’re doing God’s work.
Eyes - I am a specs wearer and a lot of fancy stuff gets lost so I’m pale eyeshadow (MAC) and Lisa Eldridge pencil smudged about a bit - Cinder Smoke as black it just too harsh on me. Bung on some Hourglass mascara that I got in the January sale and stashed for the year. I am disgusting.
Brushes - I use the Beauty Pie travel brushes which come in their own little pouch. They are excellent.
Lipstick - I always have at least 6 in my handbag as I have a problem.
Perfume - Before I leave the house as I’m not a monster.
I leave my brows as I get them dyed every 2 weeks and I walk out looking like the Count from Sesame Street but after a few days they settle and look quite good. Plus specs hide a million sins.
Here ends the essay you neither asked for nor needed.
Oh I love this, thank you. I read it in the ten minutes I got to myself (to do my make up, naturally) whilst my husband wrangled the toddler out of the house.
I’m super keen to try Lisa Eldridge’s new liquid silk eyeshadows for speed and the feeling of being a bit more polished.
I’m also hopeful that the L’Oréal Infaillable thing as raved about by Esther Coren will keep my make up on until the mask drops at 5.30pm and I go back to working for the toddler.